A Sam wants to apologise.
B Does he?
A Yes. He’s broken your mother’s Chinese vase.
B My mother's Chinese vase? Oh, no!
A We had a terrible holiday.
B Did you?
A Yes, It rained all the time.
B Did it?
A Yes, And the food was disgusting!
B Was it? What a drag!
A I’m broke.
B Are you? How come?
A Because I just had a phone bill for £500.
B £500? Why so much?
A Because I have a girlfriend in Korea.
B Do you? How interesting!
A It took me three hours to get here.
B Did it?
A Yes. There was a traffic jam ten miles long.
B Ten miles long? That’s awful!
A Now I’ve got a headache!
B Have you? Poor darling. I’ll get you something for it.
A I’m on a mountain, watching the sunset.
B Are you?
A Yes. And I’ve got something very important to ask you.
B Have you? What is it? I can’t wait!
A You’d better sit down. I’d like to marry you.
B Marry me? Wow!
Maureen Hello?
Ian Hello, my name’s Ian Wells, I’m the manager of your local branch of Ian’s Pizzas.
Maureen Ah.
Ian I wonder, do you have a moment to talk?
Maureen Yes, I think so.
Ian. Good. I understand that you placed an order with us yesterday evening.
Maureen Yes, that’s right.
Ian …and the bill came to 18 pounds and 45 pence.
Maureen Well, probably, but the food took ages to arrive. That’s why I only paid ten pounds.
Ian Oh, I see.
Maureen I suppose that’s why you’re calling.
Ian Yes, obviously if we got something wrong, then I’m very sorry.
Maureen Well, it was quite a few things, actually.
Ian Right. You put in your order at about eight. Is that right?
Maureen No, that’s the thing. I’d already ordered before that, at 7 o’clock, and they said deliver in about 40 minutes.
Ian. The normal time.
Maureen The normal time, yes. But at 8 o’clock the pizza still hadn’t arrived, so I phoned again and they said they’d lost the order.
Ian Oh well, I’m very sorry about that.
Maureen So, anyway, I gave the order again and we waited. Again, I was told it would take 40 minutes.
Ian And when did the order arrive?
Maureen It was just after 9. So by that time we’d been waiting more that two hours. The delivery boy said he’d got lost on his bike.
Ian Right.
Maureen And then, after I’d taken the pizzas inside, we found that they were all cold and one of the boxes was wet. They looked like they’d been sitting outside for ages, so we couldn’t eat them.
Ian That’s really not good enough, is it?
Maureen Well, no. In fact, I ended up ordering some Chinese food instead. It cost me another 20 pounds.
Ian Right.
Maureen And of course, they weren’t delivering by that time, so I had to go to the trouble of collecting it myself. So… Yeah, the whole thing caused a lot of inconvenience.
Ian Yep, I completely understand. Look, we’re sorry about all this. I’m going to look into things in a bit more detail at this end and try to make sure this doesn’t happen again.
Maureen Well, yes, it was a pity.
Ian Meanwhile, if I may, I’d like to return your ten pounds and give you some vouchers which you can spend on future orders.
Maureen Oh.
Ian Someone’ll put them through your door this evening.
Maureen Well, yes, that would be great.
Ian Ok, well, thank you very much for your time. And sorry again.
Maureen That’s all right, thank you for calling. Bye now.
Ian Bye-bye.
Norwegian Wood
by the Beatles
I once had a girl, or should I say, she once had me
She showed me her room, isn't it good, norwegian wood?
She asked me to stay and she told me to sit anywhere
So I looked around and I noticed there wasn't a chair
I sat on the rug, biding my time, drinking her wine
We talked until two and then she said, "It's time for bed"
She told me she worked in the morning and started to laugh
I told her I didn't and crawled off to sleep in the bath
And when I awoke I was alone, this bird had flown
So I lit a fire, isn't it good, norwegian wood?
