Health problems in Rome
C = Caitlin, N = Nina
N: Hello.
C: Hello. Nina? Hi. It’s me, Caitlin.
N: Hi! Where are you? I was expecting you at 6.
C: Yeah, sorry, but Lachlan’s had some kind of reaction to something he ate. We’re in Rome hospital.
N: You’re joking! Is he all right?
C: Yes, yes. He’s fine now. He’s with the nurse and they’re running some tests.
N: No! What happened?
C: Well, we were in the middle of lunch and he suddenly said he was feeling funny – that he was a bit short of breath – and then I noticed a rash. There were spots breaking out all round his mouth. Then his lips just started swelling up and he was really struggling to breathe.
N: That sounds terrifying. He is all right now, though?
C: Yes, yes, honestly. We rushed him to the hospital – someone from the restaurant actually took us – and they dealt with him very quickly. He had an injection to reduce the swelling and oxygen to help him breathe.
N: Oh Caitlin. You sound so calm. It must’ve been awful.
C: Well, I wasn’t at the time, but everyone’s been so good to us. Anyway, listen, they’re going to keep him in overnight – to be on the safe side.
N: Oh, right.
C: Sorry. I know we’re supposed to be going to the concert tonight.
N: Don’t be silly! Lachlan’s health is much more important than a concert. When do you think you’ll get here tomorrow?
C: It shouldn’t be too late. The doctor’s going to come at 9, so if he gives the all clear, we should be at yours by lunchtime.
N: OK. Well, listen. Give him a hug from me and don’t worry about rushing to get here tomorrow.
Steve Redgrave
M = Mick, J = Jes
M D'you see all those medals?! You know he's a 'Sir' now?
J Sorry, ... who's a what?
M Y'know Steve Redgrave ... Sir Steve Redgrave the Olympic rower. There's an article here on him. He's the only guy to have won five consecutive gold medals at the Olympic games.
I Yeah 'course I know him, he's one of my sporting heroes, isn't he? Ever since I tried rowing in my first term at university and ...
M I didn't know that you -er ... rowing I mean.
J Yeah, yeah, gave it up, totally, absolutely, completely knackering - too whacked to make it down the pub afterwards ...[laughter]. So, how does Steve Redgrave manage it?
M He says here it's all in the training - he's been training eight hours a day, seven days a week for 25 years -er started when he was 16, he says he pushes his body to the absolute limit, beyond the pain barrier - just like he does in every race. His body goes numb and his mind goes blank - he doesn't even hear the crowds cheering him on.
J Oh, boy, do I remember the pain barrier?! - Jeez, I was stiff the next day ... had joints like an old man.
M Yeah - day in, day out Steve's down at the gym working out - working on leg, arm, back, shoulder muscles. Is that man focussed!? Doesn't sound like the kind of lifestyle you'd go for! [laughs]
J Hey, hang on ... he doesn't have my health problems ...
M Oh yeah?! And what may those be?
J Well, there's my bad back ...
M Oh yeah ... only if you're asked to get off it to do something like... -er
J Like what?
M Do the washing up! Tidy the flat! [laughter] Well, actu... in fact Steve Redgrave does have health problems — real ones - not imaginary ones...
I No?
M He's diabetic ... says here he was diagnosed with diabetes at 35. Has to use insulin every time he eats, -er that's six jabs a day.
I You're kidding. I had no idea.
M Yeah, he drinks gallons of blackcurrant juice to quench his thirst when he's training. Doesn't sound much like your kind of drink. Hey, take a look at Steve's diet, he's the carbohydrate kid -porridge, pasta and potatoes, loads of red meat and eggs ... oh and he loves chocolate.
J Obviously doesn't have to watch his weight then ...
M No, lucky so-and-so, and he has to keep up his strength, has to consume over 6,000 calories a day, all seventeen stone of him.
J Well, he's a helluva big guy, so dedicated to his sport he has to keep eating!
M Hey ... but it says here all that dedication -er nearly cost him his marriage - too much time rowing, no time for his family -er and he's got three kids. His wife'd had enough of it all - do you know, she's an osteopath! How handy is that? Anyway, she felt that he was sacrificing his family to his obsession - so that's why ...
J ... he's not going for a sixth ... no, no ... I knew he was giving it all up.
M He sounds a really decent guy, actually – modest - he says being knighted was the ultimate accolade, he never expected it - and it was his greatest moment, after winning the fifth medal of course - and now he plans to make use of his fame by raising money for children's charities. He's running the London Marathon this year, he wants to raise £5 million eventually.
J Hey, I was thinking of doing that!
M What? Raising 5 million?
J Idiot... no, I thought I might try the Marathon.
M With your bad back!
J OK maybe next year.
50 Ways To Leave Your Lover
by Paul Simon
The problem is all inside your head
She said to me
The answer is easy if you
Take it logically
I'd like to help you in your struggle
To be free
There must be fifty ways
To leave your lover
She said it's really not my habit
To intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning
Won't be lost or misconstrued
But I'll repeat myself
At the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways
To leave your lover
Fifty ways to leave your lover
[CHORUS:]
You Just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free
She said it grieves me so
To see you in such pain
I wish there was something I could do
To make you smile again
I said I appreciate that
And would you please explain
About the fifty ways
She said why don't we both
Just sleep on it tonight
And I believe in the morning
You'll begin to see the light
And then she kissed me
And I realized she probably was right
There must be fifty ways
To leave your lover
Fifty ways to leave your lover
